Quinceañera Review

Quinceañera (2006)

Plot: Magdalena is quickly approaching her Quinceañera. However, being the daughter of an impoverished storefront preacher, she will not be receiving the party of her dreams, one to rival her cousin’s celebration. That particular Quinceañera had a Hummer limo with a stripper pole, but Magdalena will instead receive a hand-me-down dress and a regular mode of transportation to her party, sans stripper pole. Alas, Magdalena quickly realizes she has bigger fish to fry: she is pregnant via outercourse, a fact that both her boyfriend and father refuse to believe (they believe she’s pregnant, but they don’t believe the baby is not the result of penetrative intercourse). Her boyfriend abandons her because he believes she cheated, her father kicks her out because he thinks she’s a hussy, her friends ridicule her for her supposed outrageous lies about the baby’s origins… it’s a tough life for our hero, and it makes the Hummer crisis seem minor in comparison. Magdalena goes to live with her eccentric, 80-plus-year-old great-uncle, Tomas, and her homosexual cousin, Carlos. In spending time with both men, Magdalena realizes the true meaning of family. She also learns that it isn’t the size of the Quinceañera party that matters, it’s what you do with it. Well, wait, no… she doesn’t learn that. Her father eventually realizes she wasn’t lying about how she became pregnant, and to make up for the fact that he tossed her out of the house, he gives her an elaborate party, complete with, you guessed it… a Hummer limo with stripper pole! The movie ends with Magdalena parading around at the celebration with a huge self-satisfied grin, because she knew she was right.

Characters: Magdalena (the main character with an unfortunate plight), Tomas (the older gentleman-type/great-uncle/patriarchof the family), Carlos (the homosexual cousin who guides Magdalena through her predicament), Ernesto (the boyfriend), Eileen (the spoiled cousin).

Setting (Place/Time): 2000s in Echo Park, Los Angeles.

Moral (?) of the story: Sometimes the problems that you have in your own life are minor compared to the ones your loved ones are dealing with. Also, don’t discredit the help that your family members can give you, for they will never abandon you, except for when they believe you’re lying about how you conceived your baby.

Acting: Nothing to write home about.

Plusses: The movie brings to light an issue that isn’t much discussed in sex ed. classes: you can get pregnant without having full-on sexual intercourse. The subsequent pregnancy was treated in a realistic manner—the girl is kicked to the curb rather than dealing with a supportive family (except for at the end of the film), the boyfriend doesn’t want his seemingly-successful future to be derailed, and the girl’s friends mock and abandon her as well.

Minuses: It’s interesting to think that in the end, everyone believes Magdalena and accepts her plight unconditionally. She gets her over-the-top party that her parents can ill-afford, complete with the Hummer limo. This does not seem like a realistic reaction to a teenage pregnancy. Then again, I watch 16 & Pregnant, so I know that oftentimes the parents react in what may seem an inappropriate way to the expectant teen by throwing her a lavish baby shower. Maybe the movie just wants us to be more accepting of miraculous events and not be so judgmental. I was not a fan of the ending, however. It just seemed too tidy and too implausible for me.

Overall impression: When I was younger, I read snippets of an autobiography of Suzanne Somers. She noted that when she was seventeen or so, she became pregnant as a result of non-penetrative intercourse. When I watched this movie, I drew a parallel between Suzanne’s experience and that of the main character of this film. I’m pretty sure that was not the intention of the director, and yet there it is. Either way, the film was enjoyable, right up until the end when I just became aggravated that the girl was rewarded for her pregnancy with an over-the-top party. I think the money spent on the Quinceañera would have been better saved for the impending birth and childcare of the baby that Magdalena is carrying.

Grade: B


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Easy A Review

Easy A (2010)

Plot: A high school-aged girl named Olive lies to her friend about having sex with an unknown college-age boy. The friend tells everyone that Olive did the do, and the school goes mad spreading the rumor. Olive is then approached by a homosexual friend to lie and tell everyone they slept together. She does, and then the school further thinks she’s a slut. More and more people approach her for her faked services, and Olive continues to garner a spicy reputation. The hapless souls buy her non-services with gift cards to various places such as Best Buy and Olive Garden. Olive realizes after reading The Scarlet Letter in class that she should further capitalize on her bad reputation by wearing corsets and lace garters with a stitched-on red letter A on everything. Our hero eventually almost gets raped, loses her best friend, finds out a sexy secret about the school guidance counselor and the resident uber-Christian girl’s boyfriend, and gains the respect of her formerly slutty mom. Oh, and her secret crush from years ago comes back to save her from herself by agreeing to do a fake (everything about this movie is fake, apparently) webcast of a sexy situation between the two characters. Everyone realizes the girl is still a virgin and is no Hester Prynne. The movie ends with Olive stating she might sleep with the secret crush that evening, but it’s no one’s business (so then why bother saying it at all?).

Characters: Olive Penderghast (the main character with an unfortunate name), Rhi (the best friend raised by hippie parents), Todd (the crush who is also the school’s mascot), Marianne (the uber-Christian girl), Mrs. Griffith (school guidance counselor played by Lisa Kudrow), Mr. Griffith (husband to Mrs. G and Olive’s English teacher), Brandon (homosexual friend).

Setting (Place/Time): 2000s in perhaps California or some other always-sunny state

Moral (?) of the story: Love is a battlefield, so suit up and pretend to be a slut so that you get gift cards, which are infinitely more important than respect and adoration from classmates and potential suitors. Well, except for when you almost get raped; then it’s best to come clean and be yourself, even if that means you can’t get oodles of items for free.

Acting: No far stretch for anyone involved. Corny, over-the-top, smart, funny… no real complaints though.

Plusses: The characters didn’t all have trendeeee or off-the-wall names (I hate when they do!); a good message for young girls; a fair representation of high school (and hey! The characters were actually shown participating in a class discussion, which generally they aren’t in movies and shows).

Minuses: Olive’s mom’s reaction to the whole debacle seemed unrealistic, as did the overly Christian character’s obsession with Olive’s sexual escapades. Would anyone really care that some chick who was relatively unknown at the beginning of the film is a slut? And what, there was only one promiscuous girl in the entire high school?

Overall impression: Not bad. Not what I really expected given the trailers for the film, but I thought it was decent.

Grade:  C+

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Projects Galore

I have many projects that I have yet to tackle. It’s been this way for who knows how long. I didn’t want to make one of my New Year’s Resolutions “Finish my unfinished projects.” However, through timing or serendipity, I have actually managed to plow through some of my projects within the past few days. Here is a rough list of the projects I have to complete, with a tidy line through the ones I have actually finished as of this year.

Green furry scarf

Dolphin cross-stitch


Butterfly hook rug

Punch needle picture

Purple and burgundy scarf

Blue-toned shawl

Binding for frog picture

Now let’s just hope that it wasn’t some random spurt that allowed me to finish these projects. I really want to be done with them once and for all. Once I finish them, I won’t feel that bad about starting something new.


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